15 Things You Should Never Do in America
| October 15, 2015
Not shop at Walmart
Walmart isn’t just a store; it’s a Friday night hang out in some small towns. It’s downright un-American not to take advantage of their suspiciously cheap deals while being helped by underpaid senior citizens.
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Diss our cheese
You might not find it on a charcuterie board, but at least good old American cheese doesn’t smell like ripe gym socks. And does “camembert” even come in an aerosol can? Yeah, we didn’t think so.
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Use non-American terms
Ask us where the washrooms are and we’ll look at you like you have three eyes. Refer to your beanie as a “toque” and we’ll revoke your citizenship.
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