15 Things You Should Never Do in America
| October 15, 2015
Not shop at Walmart
Walmart isn’t just a store; it’s a Friday night hang out in some small towns. It’s downright un-American not to take advantage of their suspiciously cheap deals while being helped by underpaid senior citizens.
Diss our cheese
You might not find it on a charcuterie board, but at least good old American cheese doesn’t smell like ripe gym socks. And does “camembert” even come in an aerosol can? Yeah, we didn’t think so.
Use non-American terms
Ask us where the washrooms are and we’ll look at you like you have three eyes. Refer to your beanie as a “toque” and we’ll revoke your citizenship.
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